Your typical morning Singapore weather report on the radio: "Expect a high of 32 degrees Celsius and a thunderstorm in the evening."
That's it, really.
Ten seconds of weather report on the radio on 365 days of the year.
Singapore is a little more than 100 kilometers north of the equator, so it is about as tropical as can be. That makes for nice palm trees, beautiful orchids and a day that is about 12 hours long.
Dawn and dusk are brief. You can sometimes miss it while taking a shower.
There are a few myths about Singapore weather:
'It rains every day at 4 pm for about an hour.'
'There is a rainy season and a dry season.'
It can rain long and often, but you can also have a stretch of dry sunny days for a week on end
'It rains everywhere in Singapore at the same time.'
When it rains, it really comes down: rainshowers splatter, drench, soak, saturate and submerge.
In fact, back in 2009, it poured for almost 4 hours straight like that.
Famous Orchard Road turned into Orchard River - cars were floating in parking garages and stores literally drowned in the flooding waters.
I was on a bus and watched trash bins floating on the street.
A canal was overflowing onto a car bridge - spooky.
The sun strikes at a steep angle here. And it is only a hundred meters away, it feels.
It gets so intense you can feel a sunburn starting within 10 minutes.
Look for sunbrellas and shadow line walkers: these people will do anything to avoid a sunny patch of car park.
Humidity is normally high. Often it is really high.
And after one of those rains described above, expect a steam room.
Now that is very nice for your skin, but beware your clothes and leather goods in storage. They can very moldy, very quickly, so investing in dehumidfiers for your storage rooms is sensible.
You will notice that your hi-fi equipment goes weird sometimes due to moisture on the circuits. We have had shoes fall apart on us because the glue was not designed for the tropics!
Singapore has a huge network of canals ranging from the small one next to your street to gargantuan catchment canals that fill up within minutes and turn to raging rivers during a downpour.
Flooding is almost never a problem, though.
The few instances of floods in the past years, like mentioned above, have lead to major improvement works to the canals in flood-prone areas such as Bukit Timah and Orchard.
Temperatures rarely go below 25 degrees Celsius and rarely above 35 C.
A typical day will be around 30-32 degrees Celsius and an agreeable 26 degrees in the evening.
Yes, all that said: prepare to freeze. A lot.
Malls, offices and taxis can get cool, and when you hit the cinema, take a sweater. Standard temperatures at the movies seem to be around 15 degrees Celsius, maybe less.
On the other hand, a favorite pastime is air con hopping: walk around town, catch a cool mall every 30 minutes or so and get back to normal body temperatures again.
The best thing about Singapore weather: a balmy late-night under a palm tree, sipping a cool beer or wine, watching a gecko scurry around the lights.
Courts - Electronics store with dehumidifiers
Novita - local maker of dehumidifiers